What are your WALLS made of?

Image credit :: pixabay

​“Walls keep everybody out. Boundaries teach people where the door is.”
  Mark Groves

Defence :: Justification :: Accusing :: Controlling :: Threatening :: Advising ::
‘Should-ing’ :: Lecturing :: Judging :: Criticising :: Blaming :: Unconscious Feelings :: Praising :: Diagnosing :: Consoling :: Probing :: Withdrawing :: Humoring :: Diverting

If you’re human, you probably use use some of these blocks to build walls with.

Walls that you maintain so you can feed yourself the illusion that you’re keeping out that which does not feel safe.

The illusion is that most of the time you think you’re blocking out the person, the experience, the annoying behaviour.  When the thing you’re really blocking out is all that you will feel in response to letting that person, experience or annoying behaviour really touch you… to really letting life in.

Image Credit: Yiqun Tang on Unsplash

 Don't be fooled by the pretty vines that start to creep there way up your wall.

They're only there because that wall is archaic and they've had enough time for their roots to sink deep.

They're merely confirmation that you've been holding this wall strong for a bloody long time.  It's exhausting.

Behind the pretty vines is still a tall grey wall.   

If you’re not feeling your feelings then you’re starving yourself of connection… to you... primarily... and to others.  If you’re not connected to yourself can you truly expect to experience true connection with others?

Why do you do this? Because when you let life in, when you let the force of life’s energy flow through you it will, at first, feel like a cascade of indecipherable and overwhelming emotion. Not something many people volunteer for... or is it?

At first glimpse there seemingly aren’t so many reasons why you would even want to open that Pandora’s Box.  However, at the bottom of that very same Box is a pile of gold.  The Box is also a Treasure Chest.

Want the gold… open the Box!

How to open the Box?
Start deconstructing the walls. You don’t have to demolish them all in one go. That’s the stuff trauma is made of. Install a window, put in a door, carve out a porthole… whatever your unique method; find a way to take a peek at what’s on the other side and allow yourself to feel.

Possibilities::
Make a list of the behaviours that make up your walls. What are they blocking out? What could their absence be letting in? At what pace do you go to take this journey?

​What’s your first move?
Some things you can​ do on your own.

Image credit: @whereslugo on Unsplash

More Possibilities::
If you want to stop trying to do it all on your own you may like to consider:
 -< Reclaiming Anger
 -< Reclaiming Anger for Women
 -< Expand The Box 5 day residential training
 -< Community Forum
​ -< Private Sessions with Gero &/or Stacia

I leave you with this important message for your self...

Author :: Unknown

Is it time to stop waiting in the doorway and take the next... small... step?

Leave a comment below and share with us what your next move will be.

You might just inspire someone.

with love

Stacia