“Walls keep everybody out. Boundaries teach people where the door is.”
Defence :: Justification :: Accusing :: Controlling :: Threatening :: Advising ::
‘Should-ing’ :: Lecturing :: Judging :: Criticising :: Blaming :: Unconscious Feelings :: Praising :: Diagnosing :: Consoling :: Probing :: Withdrawing :: Humoring :: Diverting
If you’re human, you probably use use some of these blocks to build walls with.
Walls that you maintain so you can feed yourself the illusion that you’re keeping out that which does not feel safe.
The illusion is that most of the time you think you’re blocking out the person, the experience, the annoying behaviour. When the thing you’re really blocking out is all that you will feel in response to letting that person, experience or annoying behaviour really touch you… to really letting life in.
If you’re not feeling your feelings then you’re starving yourself of connection… to you... primarily... and to others. If you’re not connected to yourself can you truly expect to experience true connection with others?
Why do you do this? Because when you let life in, when you let the force of life’s energy flow through you it will, at first, feel like a cascade of indecipherable and overwhelming emotion. Not something many people volunteer for... or is it?
At first glimpse there seemingly aren’t so many reasons why you would even want to open that Pandora’s Box. However, at the bottom of that very same Box is a pile of gold. The Box is also a Treasure Chest.
Want the gold… open the Box!
If you want to stop trying to do it all on your own you may like to consider:
-< Reclaiming Anger
-< Reclaiming Anger for Women
-< Expand The Box 5 day residential training
-< Community Forum
-< Private Sessions with Gero &/or Stacia
I leave you with this important message for your self...
Is it time to stop waiting in the doorway and take the next... small... step?
Leave a comment below and share with us what your next move will be.
You might just inspire someone.
You know that idea you've been sitting on for a long time now...
That project you haven’t started...
That conversation you keep putting off…
That inner voice that's been wanting to speak up... rather than being pushed down or exploding out?
You keep telling yourself that you’ll start soon… you’ll create time for the conversation… you’ll quit the job… you’ll take the course… you’ll ask for help… you'll say 'no more!'... you’ll take the action that you know you need to take.
It’s all well and good to keep convincing yourself that you you’re GOING to do the thing. But unless you actually START you’re just feeding yourself false truths. And that’s not very self loving.
To take action on anything you need a healthy relationship with the life-force energy that is the source of clarity, courage, vitality… and action. That energy is Anger.
When suppressed, Anger either implodes or explodes and the results can be damaging to both your inner and outer environments. Implosion can result in physical and/or mental illness while the results of explosive Anger are often disconnection and/or damage to self or other.
Only when you take a different course of action do you get a different result. Reclaiming Anger means intentionally befriending and harnessing this energy and using it as fuel to get up off your seat and take the action you’ve been wanting to take.
"HOW MUCH ANGER IS TOO MUCH?
Certainly not the anger that, for many of us, is a remembering of a self we learned to hide and quiet.
It is willful and disobedient.
It is survival, liberation, creativity, urgency, and vibrancy.
It is a statement of need. An insistence of acknowledgment.
Anger is a boundary. Anger is boundless. An opportunity for contemplation and self-awareness.
It is commitment. Empathy. Self-love. Social responsibility.
If it is poison, it is also the antidote.
The anger we have as women is an act of radical imagination."
"A society that does not respect women's anger is one that does not respect women; not as human beings, thinkers, knowers, active participants, or citizens."
These are the words of Soraya Chemaly, from the book Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger.
What strikes me in this passage in particular is the line...
"If it is poison, it is also the antidote."
If it is powerful enough to be so destructive, it is also powerful enough to be incredibly creative and strong.
This creative, life affirming energy is from the same source. You get to choose how you ride the wave of energy that is available to you.
If we allow it to serve us in it's pure and present form it doesn't get shoved into the undercurrents and create a destructive tsunami.
Reclaiming my Anger has given me the strength and vitality to do so many things that I didn't believe were possible not that long ago.
I've walked on edges and jumped off cliffs I didn't know existed and many people have experienced their own versions of this self-empowerment.
Reclaiming your Anger is reclaiming the antidote for a life worth living.
Stacia is a co-founder of The Art of Relating. A Writer, Facilitator, Speaker and Wisdom Keeper.