Trusting is the ultimate surrender into the unknown mystery of life. The willingness to lean in, to take a leap, to let go... to not know.
This kind of active surrender requires a healthy and intimate relationship to Fear.
As Fear is THE core Feeling that keeps you attuned to your environment – both inner and outer – providing you a continual stream of signals as to how best to stay in connection… with life.
The potency of this brave act has become lost however on someone or something outside of us.
We place trust in other, in religion, in marriage, even in insurance companies... that they will do the 'right' thing by us. We buy in to these ‘insurance’ contracts to reduce our Fear of what might happen.
In essence, these contracts numb us to feeling and sensing the gifts of true Fear and its vital purpose in our lives.
What if having a deeply embedded relationship with Fear is the ultimate life insurance?
Trust, through the gift of Fear, is an inside job.
You can trust in someone or something as much as you want, however, if they then go and 'do' something that goes against your expectations or desires it can be easy to tell yourself the story that I can't trust them.
If you live your life expecting others to go about their lives in a way that is trust ‘worthy’ for you then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
We’re human! We see life through our own personal lens. Others see life through theirs.
It’s almost idiotic to expect that others will do everything in a way that that will be worthy of your trust.
What’s really going on when you want others to be trust ‘worthy’ is a desire for them to act in a way that doesn’t trigger you, that doesn’t disappoint you, that doesn’t connect you to your core feelings.
Thing is that your Feelings are the very information that you need to navigate the unknown of life.
Your Feelings are your own internal compass.
Sure, you can ask for what you want. You can give feedback about your experience. You can set boundaries. You can make agreements. But these will never guarantee your safety.
Life is always shifting and changing; a constant stream of energy that is in-formation.
The resting place of trust is within YOU and your willingness to let Fear be the humble servant, the all seeing eyes that constantly inform you.
So ask yourself this question…
'Can I trust myself enough to be able to respond, rather than react, to any situation or experience I encounter?’
If someone breaks an agreement with you, can you trust yourself to compassionately inquire about their experience rather than jumping to irrational conclusions about why they did what they did?
Can you trust that you have the capacity to speak up, to have the difficult conversations, to invite more clarity, to take responsibility for what’s yours and support others to see their blind spots so that we may all remain in connection with each other, ourselves and with life?
If I place my trust in something outside of me then I’m giving it my authority and power to respond.
People you love will make mistakes. You will make mistakes. We are all humans discovering how to navigate our way through life with the tools and skills that we have.
So instead, check in with yourself…
Do you have the skills to remain centered when things get tough?
Do you understand the purpose of your Feelings and how they are different to Emotional energy?
Are you aware of what’s going on when you, or someone you love, gets triggered?
Can you see how your personal upbringing, family life, culture has contributed to the beliefs that you hold on to and how others’ hold different beliefs… that direct different actions to you?
Trust is an inside job.
It is your capacity to trust yourself to have your own back NO MATTER WHAT is happening around you or inside of you. To be connected to the ever changing flow of life.
In any given moment you can never really know what is going to happen so becoming a ninja in the art of traversing the unknown is your best hope of creating a life that feels safe, nourishing, connected and alive.
It is up to you to choose if someone else’s mistake breaks your trust or provides you with an opportunity to come more deeply into connection with them, to understand a perspective that may be different to yours and to strengthen your trust in yourself even more.
In love and trust.
Fear is not your enemy. Trying to steer away from it is fatal.
With emotional Fear you can certainly freeze, flee or fight... however...
With pure Fear you can fly.
You can become the panicked Rescuer or the attuned Magician.
It's your choice.
If you ignore Fear's gifts you're just pushing down life force energy and from there it has to go somewhere.
So it comes out in unconscious panicked fuelled actions from a place of not knowing. Often doing 'what the others are doing' because it seems even scarier to enter the territory of 'not knowing'.
When you begin to own that you don't know, the relevant action is to stop the doing... and begin to sense the information that exists beyond the confines of your mind.
Looking for answers in what can only be mentally perceived is cutting off three quarters of the information that is available to you... RIGHT NOW.
When we do this we go into fixing mode, the favourite pastime of the Rescuer, sifting through the mental archives looking for new solutions that don't live there.
In his book 'The Gift of Fear', Gavin de Becker says:
“True fear is a gift that signals us in the presence of danger; thus, it will be based upon something you perceive in your environment or your circumstance. Unwarranted fear or worry will always be based upon something in your imagination or your memory.”
Imagination or memories are generated from and stored in the mind. The word imagine is to form a metal image of something.
From all the work I've done in the realm of feelings & emotions I have a deep sense of the signals that Fear brings, if I choose to listen and allow pure Fear to be part of my toolkit.
Danger however (as referred to in the quote) is quite a loaded word and I want to unpack that a little... this is important.
Danger is often viewed as life threatening in the context of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual & environmental death.
What if danger was more simply defined as anything that has the potential to divert you away from a state of balance… stability… homeostasis?
As is often the case there are many small ‘dangers’ that you traverse every day.
And with that being the case there are many opportunities every day where you have the possibility to receive the gift of fear as it signals you to the presence of dangers, big and small.
Fear could be the signal you receive to step to the side, without rationally knowing why, before the proverbial bus speeds on by, just missing you.
Or the impulse (aka signal) to go check if you turned the stove off, only to find the pot has burnt dry and is starting to smoke.
Not being receptive to these impulses can be dangerous. Fear is the signal that alerts you to what is happening right now.
Fear is your awareness!
On an even smaller scale fear may send you the signal to have fruit for breakfast rather than your usual toast. A signal that your body is out of balance and this is what it needs to become more vital... alive.
While that may not seem 'dangerous' at first, compounded over years it can be.
We’re receiving signals like these all of the time that support us to maintain a dynamic state of balance.
Dynamic in the possibility to be thriving and not just surviving through the optimal functioning of all your 4 bodies; physical, mental, energetic and emotional.
You have the choice, right now, about how to work with your Fear. It is, and will always be there. You can't cut if off or exorcise it from your body.
Fear is one of your 4 core feelings. These feelings are your superpowers and the signals that Fear provide are the fuel for your inner Magician to come online.
The Magician who is attuned to their internal and external environments, is receptive to the flow of energy and information coming in and, like an aikido ninja, can channel that energy into wise action.
Reclaiming a healthy relationship with Fear is VITAL right now.
There is alot to feel Fear about.
With it's sensory alertness & attunement to danger Fear, guides us safely into the unknown.
And these unknown times are calling us to wake up and realign ourselves to our inner Magicians, Sorceresses and Warlocks.
The part of ourselves that we have been told is dangerous is the very tool we need to traverse danger with eyes wide open.
The part of us that sees us reclaiming our own sovereignty and inner knowing so we can feel safe to disengage, bit by bit, from following the herd and create new possibilities.
Energetic sensors activated so that we may hear the signals and make our own informed choices for how we shift into this unknown and emerging future together.
When Fear is online we're all connected :: to self, other, land and sky. That's where the next wise actions exist... awaiting for our knock at the door.
Who's going to knock?
The Rescuer or The Magician?
With fierce love
Sorceress in Training
PS. If you got this far... thanks for reading!. If you're interested in some online Magician/Sorceress Training let me know. I'm going to magic something up - kinda like Practical Tips for Modern day Magicians.
“Walls keep everybody out. Boundaries teach people where the door is.”
Defence :: Justification :: Accusing :: Controlling :: Threatening :: Advising ::
‘Should-ing’ :: Lecturing :: Judging :: Criticising :: Blaming :: Unconscious Feelings :: Praising :: Diagnosing :: Consoling :: Probing :: Withdrawing :: Humoring :: Diverting
If you’re human, you probably use use some of these blocks to build walls with.
Walls that you maintain so you can feed yourself the illusion that you’re keeping out that which does not feel safe.
The illusion is that most of the time you think you’re blocking out the person, the experience, the annoying behaviour. When the thing you’re really blocking out is all that you will feel in response to letting that person, experience or annoying behaviour really touch you… to really letting life in.
If you’re not feeling your feelings then you’re starving yourself of connection… to you... primarily... and to others. If you’re not connected to yourself can you truly expect to experience true connection with others?
Why do you do this? Because when you let life in, when you let the force of life’s energy flow through you it will, at first, feel like a cascade of indecipherable and overwhelming emotion. Not something many people volunteer for... or is it?
At first glimpse there seemingly aren’t so many reasons why you would even want to open that Pandora’s Box. However, at the bottom of that very same Box is a pile of gold. The Box is also a Treasure Chest.
Want the gold… open the Box!
If you want to stop trying to do it all on your own you may like to consider:
-< Reclaiming Anger
-< Reclaiming Anger for Women
-< Expand The Box 5 day residential training
-< Community Forum
-< Private Sessions with Gero &/or Stacia
I leave you with this important message for your self...
Is it time to stop waiting in the doorway and take the next... small... step?
Leave a comment below and share with us what your next move will be.
You might just inspire someone.