In a fast paced volatile world with no emotional education, I’m not surprised...
Feelings can become entangled with each other and...
...when this happens they can no longer serve their true purpose.
Yes, pure archetypal feelings have a purpose. Why else does every human on the planet experience feelings if not for serving an important purpose? The good news is, once they are free of entanglement, your feelings can be serving you as the most informative guidance system you will ever know.
The solution? Un-mix your feelings; acknowledge express and listen to them individually. In doing so you will free the stuck or depressed energy back into flow again. (steps outlined below)
For the purpose of this article I’m going to focus on the increasingly common human experience of feeling foggy, stuck, indecisive, overwhelmed and depressed.
What if I were to tell you that depression (and varying degrees of it) is a mixture of Anger and Sadness?
Let me break this down for you;
- The purpose of Anger is all about movement; direction, clarity, taking action, making change, following passions, creation, expression.
- Whereby the purpose of Sadness is all about stillness; folding in, deeply listening, connection, holding, reflection, insight.
When un-mixing feelings we need to work with them one feeling at at time. The following guide will continue with the above example of Anger and Sadness mixed together.
If you have someone who can witness you in the process then invite them to join you. If not do it anyway. Have a pen and paper ready that your support person can use to write anything you say during the process OR that you can write in once you've finished your process.
Step 1 - Pull the feelings apart symbolically and energetically. It may feel unusual but this is really helpful for your psyche to get on board. Using your hands and starting in your belly/chest area, intentionally grab your Anger with your right hand and your Sadness with your left and literally pull them apart. You will be left with your arms stretched out at either side of you.
With your left hand, find somewhere to place your Sadness letting it know you will come back to it in a few minutes. You are going to deal with Anger first.
[When Anger is present always work with it first. Of the 4 core feelings we experience, Anger is the gateway feeling. It brings clarity and creates space. Our Reclaiming Anger workshop explores this in great detail.]
Step 2 - Embody the feeling. Now take your right hand and bring the Anger back into your body. This intentional gesture informs your body that it is now only working with one feeling - in this case starting with Anger.
Step 3 – Express the feeling by inviting the Anger energy to become bigger in your physical body. If you can, I highly recommend that you create a safe space to vocalise and move with the energy.
This may look like jumping up and down or hitting cushions with the force of the energy while allowing as much vocal expression as you can. It may just be loud sounds or there may be words like “No more!”, “It’s not OK with me!” etc.
You may also choose to lay on a bed or mattress and go into a kind of tantrum that involves your whole body moving at once including vocal expression and release.
You get the picture.
Step 5 – Take action by writing down one step that you could take to address this need you have.
This may be something like “I am going to share more information on what is happening to our environment to raise awareness of this issue.” OR “I’m going to speak up the next time my father tells me I’m wasting my life being an artist….” Etc.
Step 6 – Take 2-3 minutes to reflect on your experience. Sit or lay down comfortable, relax your body and notice the sensations. You may want to write any further reflections down at this time.
Repeat the above process now with Sadness recognising that the gift of Sadness is about connection with yourself and others. What are you disconnected from right now? What aren’t you listening to? You may also want to allocate some regular time in your calendar to listen to that part that needs to be heard.
If you are willing to create 20mins to do the work, clearing the fog can be as simple as that.
Either Gero or I can do this with you in person or over skype. The Discover Yourself page will give you more information how you can engage with us in this way.
If you’d like to explore this work within a group setting then one of our upcoming events may be for you. Jump across to the following pages to take a look at what's coming up.
The FEELING Rites
The BEING Rites
Please experiment with these tools with full self responsibility and comment below on your experience. We'd love to hear how this supports you to clear the fog and move through your life with more clarity and ease.